The force of the air



Finally our ideas are coming together and we are moving to the actual practical work for the festival.

We need to prepare different art installations, immersive rooms, music, a treasure hunt, a shadow puppet show, live painting, murals, screenings and talks. For the sets we are using mainly material from the land or from the Indian traditions. A lot of fabric, of course.
This jump to the practical work is exciting. I spent 10 days, reading, writing, thinking and singing…basically I spent the past 10 days inside my head. But it was needed.

The day after I came here I had an appointment in the palace, up to the stairs to ShreeJan office. I was getting ready to go and GG told me, tell her all the things you can do, so she knows what you can do for the festival. Ok.
While I was going up the stairs to the office and I felt like Chihiro, the protagonist of Spirited Away, when she arrives in the enchanted city and she needs to prove she can work in order to stay, to do not disappear.

I’m inside the office when I say what I can do:  filming,  pictures, decoration, sound, a shadow puppet show, paint live, facepaint, read tarot, run an art workshop, lighting and set. I can also perform. While I’m saying the list I look at myself from the outside for a second and I’m like:
What the hell girl you are a self sustainable business yourself why do you still have to get shift at the bar and you are not making proper money out of all of this ?

Yesterday I went to my ayurveda consultation. I’m back in the office and Shreejan asked me different questions to start. Ayurveda is one of the world’s oldest holistic (whole-body) healing systems. It was developed more than 3,000 years ago in India.  It’s based on the belief that health and wellness depend on a delicate balance between the mind, body, and spirit. I look at ShreeJan skin, body and health and she does look immaculate. Not bad at all considering she is in the middle of her 50s.
We start the consultation.
Whats your age?  28.  Any chronic diseases? No.  Are your parents both alive …Yes. What’s their job?…Any allergy? And among the several ones she asks me about my dreams. 
I told her sometimes I sleep as I’m dead an I can’t remember anything at all, other times I think I can really perceive things through my dreams.  From the present, and from the future. She write down things and she doesn’t seem to think I’m crazy at all. I knew it that’s why I told her.
Have you ever been depressed? Well I’ve been horribly sad and probably a psychologist or psychotherapist would have suggested I was depress, but I never went to one so, not officially, no. I said.
But, I tell her, I had basically no real friends until I was 14, I was raised in a strict catholic school, my classmates thought I was a weirdo and all the parents were convinced by the principal nun that I was a satanist, no one would hang out with me. I was only a curious kid with some peculiar details in my look, I think.
She smiles at me and while I’m tracking back my story I don’t feel any sort of sadness anymore. And those were dark times, yes. Time is a miraculous healer, indeed. 

We go back to my present life and she explains me about the 4 different kind of people: Vata, Pitta and Kapha (Air / Fire / Earth). 
If you are Vata, which in Sanskrit means wind, you have the quality of the air. To move constantly and move things around, like the wind.  Vata people are  active, creative, and gifted with a natural ability to express and communicate.
Pitta people are fiery, with great willpower, they  provide  the radiant light of the intellect but they need to control their anger. When a person has a tendency to “overheat,” excess Pitta is usually the culprit. Just as a campfire may turn into a forest fire without proper care, the internal fire of the mind and body must be kept in check.
Kapha people are like secure mountains  that govern love, patience, forgiveness, but they can also become too still on the other hand. With its earthly makeup, Kapha grounds Vata and Pitta and helps offset imbalances related to these types (doshas).
You are, like me, Vata, she says.  Vata is motion and data people are the ones that give motion to Pitta and Kapha.  You have this power within the people around you, and you adapt wherever you are in no time. But also you have so much movement  inside you, and in your head. Yes I know. You are the one that has thousands of ideas and make thousands of amazing projects real but then when you need to check your finances or stability you have no clue. Yes. I really know what she is talking about. 
Hang out with Kafka people. Organise your thoughts. Please, yes, how?
She suggest me to meditate through the repetition of a mantra, using a rosary, as moving through the beads of a necklace can help in focusing without getting lost with other thoughts.  She says she will ask to Guru Ji to give me a mantra. I need ritualistic habits.

I feel like I spent the last 28 years of my life in a washing machine and now I need to learn how to live for real. Is an interesting challenge. If I don’t fix myself how do I think to be able to accomplish any of my work and help anyone else?

The mind is an incredible place. Every day here I’m discovering a new corner of my own, and then I realise there is so much dust all around. I feel part of my work now is to clean those places. There is a powerful source of light hiding somewhere there. I can feel it.  The work to let that light to shine through completely is an hard one. There are moment where I feel, here we are yes yes yes, but then I lose it again. The social structures, the way I’ve been raised, the things that happened to me before are interfering with the discovering of the full me without any opaque layer.  Trusting my intuition and my gut and perceiving things for what they actually are and not for what I’ve been told they should be. It’s my mission.

It’s 6.30 pm. Is Puja time. Puja in Sanskrit  means reverence, honour, homage, adoration, and worship. It is my favourite moment of the day (even though certain lunch and dinners here are quite fantastic too…)

I walk to the temple, with my head covered as the rule wants. Fire. Sounds. Hymns and mantras. There is something about it that it’s impossible to explain because you must experience it to grasp it. 

Here a little taste.


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